“So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” – John 16:22
Someone close to me once told me some news that was hard to hear.
Even though this news was difficult to hear, and my response could have reflected the trouble I was feeling, I chose to respond to him with genuine grace. I told him that there wasn't any news he could bring to me that would change how I felt toward him. I celebrated his honesty. I celebrated his trust in me. It ended on a very uplifting and encouraging tone.
I chose at that moment not just to respond graciously, but I also chose inside to be joyful. Not joyful about the news itself, but joyful that he felt safe enough to tell me.
Joy is not the same thing as happiness. Honestly though, most people know that. I hear it all the time, in fact. “Happiness is a feeling; joy is something else.”
Mind you, I find that explanation sorely lacking. The Bible uses the word joy frequently in a way that sounds every bit like a feeling.
1 Kings 1:40 – “the people were playing on flutes and rejoicing with great joy.”
1 Kings 8:66 – “Then they went to their tents joyful and glad of heart for all the goodness that the Lord had shown to David His servant and to Israel His people.”
Psalm 21:6 – “For You make him most blessed forever; You make him joyful with gladness in Your presence.”
Matthew 28:8 – “And they left the tomb quickly with fear and great joy and ran to report it to His disciples.”
John 16:20 – “You will grieve, but your grief will be turned into joy.”
You can easily go through these verses and remove the word joy for happiness, and they read exactly the same in meaning.
So, what can be said about joy versus happiness that separates these two related ideas? Why do so many people say that they are not the same?
The first idea I want to suggest to you is that joy is a choice; happiness is an uncontrolled reaction. When something good happens to you, such as an unexpected and large sum of cash comes your way, you generally react in an involuntary way. You are obviously happy inside, but while your expression of that happiness varies and is a choice, the feeling inside just happens.
Joy, however, is something deeper. You choose to be joyful. I felt immense gratitude inside when my friend told me the news, but beyond that, I responded to him in a way that communicated that gratitude. It came out of a belief that regardless of the news, I was grateful for a trusting and honest friend.
The second idea I want to leave you with is that joy is always available. God says that His joy comes with the morning (Psalm 30:5). That’s a musical way of saying that there is no such thing as unavailable joy. We need only choose to experience it, live in it, and share it.
Joy is contentment. Joy is lasting. Joy is a choice.
You have NO way of making yourself happy. That might sound like a controversial thing to say. But when you consider that happiness is an inward response to an outward experience, we conclude we can only have happiness when the outward experience occurs.
Happiness feels great but it fades. That is the very nature of emotions. We have been given them to help us process what’s going on around us. But joy is that internal state that comes alongside your emotions. It doesn’t necessarily make anger or sadness go away, but it helps you cope with them better.
“A bad thing happened to me, but my life is still very good.”
“Someone told me I am worthless, but that doesn’t make it true.”
“I am afraid of the dark, but I am able to learn how to overcome that.”
Joy changes the conversation in your mind and heart. Happiness could never do that since you never know when it’s going to show up.
For these reasons, I truly believe that joy is easier to have than happiness. One is in your control; the other is not. Making the choice to be joyful in hard situations isn’t easy, but it is possible.
Finally, the Lord is the source of all joy. And if you are a child of God, you are not in shortage of it. “Rejoice in the Lord always; and again, I say rejoice” (Philippians 4:7).
Hope that helps.